10 Ways To Tame Your Temper

10 Ways To Tame Your Temper

Feeling stressed and out of control lately? Spare yourself the pain and repair relationships before it is too late.

If you have a temper problem, take a deep breath, calm down and think of the reasons to control your anger.  Simply put, look at anger as a target to overcome.  It would require honesty and also figuring out why you feel the way you feel. 

Stress and anger dump adrenaline into the body leading you to react instead of being rational.  Your judgement is clouded and you say or do things that cannot be undone.  How do you react when you get cut off while driving?  Do you get really irritated when your child challenges your authority at home?  Think your spouse doesn’t really get what you are thinking/feeling? 

Anger is quite a normal emotion.  Dealing with it positively is important. 

Think before speaking: It is very easy to say something hurtful when you are upset.  Counting to ten or hundred will help you reconsider.  Collect your thoughts and let others calm down as well.  Good way to defuse a situation!

Express yourself:  If need be, walk away from the room and let the person know what made you mad in the first place.  Giving yourself time will help you gather your thoughts and express them clearly.

Exercise:  You know that regular exercise is good for you.  Did you know it’s even better to control your temper?  Whether you go for a brisk walk outside, play tennis or go to the gym, exercise regularly.  This will definitely help you stay calm and sleep well.  Lack of sleep causes serious problems in the long run.

Time-outs:  How about you give yourself a time-out just like the kids?  When you feel yourself getting stressed out or getting mad, a 10 minute time-out will help you to handle situations better.


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Look for solutions: How do you resolve issues?  Spend too much time gnawing on what made you mad?  For instance, if your child is messy, close the door to their room.  Consider this – will getting angry change the situation?  Try to find a solution.

Reword your feelings:  How about stating how you feel about a specific situation? Saying “I would like you to do this” instead of “you never do any work” is way better.  Everyone likes and deserves respect.

No grudges:  One tool which is effective in controlling anger is forgiveness.  Seeing positive things in others will help you move forward and grow.  Drawing boundaries is good.

Laugh it off:  Don’t take yourself too seriously.  If you can see the lighter side of a situation and laugh, you will be able to face tough situations better.  Try not to use sarcasm when you are mad about something.  It only makes things worse.

Relax:  Breathing deeply actually works.  Notice how you feel when you are really wound up and ready to lose it.  Your heart is beating fast and you might be sweaty.  Figure out which relaxation technique works for you and use it.

Get help:  Sometimes, it may be necessary to get professional help.  This is actually healthy as you acknowledge there is a problem. 

Just because you lose your temper doesn’t mean you are a bad person.  If your wife or children or colleagues tell you that you scare them, it is time to act.

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